Letter to Sch's principal(we are not involved in any way)

Dear Mr Worm(as usual),
I am de mother of Siao Ah Kow, a triple science boy who study in your schools. I jus wan, ha, to inform yous dat hor, the rojak you talking will not trick ni lao ma hor. Although I am only a lao tai po, but i know your kentang mouth will never bruff me wan. You talk here, talks there, talks everywhere, even dat time I, hor, go Geylang also see you talking to some sexy girls about posing in the photos of, hor, your new property. You are se peh jian leh... You know ni lao ma is de people in charge of de Geylang girls hor. If I see you ones more time in my alea har, u sure kena wan. First, I ask my son smack your kukujiao, then hor, I myself will suresly use my stick to hood you until you cannot open your louzy mouth anymore. You say wat, gentlemen... You yourself also no settings gudd example for de students to folo lor. You somemore, hah, say world-class... dun make ni lao ma pang sai la. Your school hor, compared to last time my kampung one is like, one ka cheng apart sial. And your teachers, wa seh, say wad coheshen, caring, wad sai... I tells u, your teachers are KFC la!!! Last time my son only accident scare one carings teacher, he ask him pump 60 times for him in the toilet bowl leh! You are worse than the wad sai primary schools hor. Last time, I heard you even talks a lot of cock to the kias right? Say wad sure this, sure dat, i tells you, you sure jia sai wan... Even I deaf hor, listen to yous also kena knocked out. Even i watch zhng my lan jiao also better... I wonders why no one fainted... Must be you threaten them with another 1 hours of talking. Somemore plus you say wad, mus bathes in cold water somemore, wa lau eh, I bets I put yous in longkang water, you faint liao, still want to action. Tan ma de,you listens up hor, If nest time i still see you talking like a sai kia, I sure complain ministry ask them send pai kia go hood your bird wan... You better carefuls hor. Last warnings liao...
Ah Kow's lao bu,
Chee Ko bu